Scribes - June 25, 2007
It's the stupid Rare letters page! Send us your mail! Turn up the signal, wipe out the noise!
 
Yo, wazzup RARE,
     Since my infant days as a toddler I have been fascinated with the video games world, watching my big sisters playing the Super Nintendo endlessly. But the most amazing games in visuals and overall gameplay were the games Rare created. Such games as Donkey Kong Country and Killer Instinct are definitely worth being recognized as perfect specimens of nostalgic excellence. And then things got better with the introduction of the good ol' N64. Banjo-Kazooie, Donkey Kong 64, GoldenEye, Diddy Kong Racing and the list goes on and on. And CONKER'S BAD FUR DAY, pure gaming perfection, the most excellent game ever. EVER I TELL YOU. Truly throughout my life I have experienced the guiding hand of Rare. But still, I question you Rare, as is man's inquisitive nature. Here are my questions. So here ya go... ready... good.
     Does Rare have any plans of making a new, edgier, and stylistically better Killer Instinct game, be it on a home console or on arcade machine?
     What about a new Mr. Pants game? Or Jet Force Gemini? Huh... well, tell me, huh?
     Also, I think you guys should make some RPGs, good ones, not Final Fantasy knock-offs.
     I guess that's it, thanks for listening to me.
     Tom from S.A. Australia
     P.S. Please put this letter on your website.
All that build-up, and then it comes crashing down into the anticlimax of "are you making KI3 or JFG2 or an RPG"? I find myself irretrievably ensnared in the chest-high brambles of disappointment, and if I'm in a bad mood for the rest of this Scribes then it's all your fault.
     Purely out of contractual obligation, no, we're not working on KI3, no, we don't have a secret team in the basement finishing off JFG2, no, we're not brainstorming an exciting sequel to It's Mr. Pants and traditionally we're not big players in the RPG market either. Until we're ready to unveil some of the games beyond the new Banjo that we are working on, why not go back and sample some prime Rare goodness from the archives such as NES classics Time Lord or Super Glove Ball? (Right, that's the last we'll see of him.)
 
Hey Scribes,
     Great job with Diddy Kong Racing DS, it's by far my favorite game for the DS. Viva Piñata also looks great and it'll be my first game when I get a 360 (assuming I get one before the new Banjo-Kazooie comes out). Anyways, I noticed something about the secret levels in Diddy Kong Racing DS. Three of them have a darker feel than the rest of Diddy Kong Racing, and two of them contain music from the cancelled Donkey Kong Racing for the Gamecube. Are these beta tracks from Donkey Kong Racing?
     Dylan Mattern
Honestly? Haven't the foggiest. Let's ask.
     "The new race tracks did not come from Donkey Kong Racing, nor did the music. They were created from scratch for DKR DS."
     That's you told then. You and your alleged Donkey Kong Racing expertise. Thanks for responding to the call for DKR DS comments though (yes, boy, this is how we repay you).
 
Dear RARE,
     I love Viva Piñata, right now I'm listening to the end credits on your site. I have some questions for you right now.
     1. Are there other piñatas on Dragonache Island, and are they immune to sour candy? Did Mother drown (she was last seen clinging to the side of the boat) or has she found refuge along with the new denzinatas of the candy-coated abyss?
     2. Just what is Seedos's coconut? The seed for a prototype banana tree, or a surprise for the future?
     3. Whenever Leafos lies about evolutions of the Rashberry, Badgesicle, Pretztail, and Cluckles is she pointing towards scrapped ideas or false directions out of the blue?
     4. What kind of hideous substance is in Sour candy, and why can it only affect eight piñata species, and what is it with the Tower of Sour that makes it do what it does so awesomely?
     5. Who laid the egg of the Dragonache, was it the proud couple of a Fourheads and a Dragumfly, or a lucky Cluckles, because they can only hatch its egg? And what is it with the terrain-based variants?
     One last question. Like the lucky Newtgat, Taffly, Horstachio, Syrupent, Twingersnap, and Sparrowmint, will Viva Piñata "evolve"?
     Thanks for your time,
     Nick Cardone
Numbered lists so soon? Damn and blast... still, at least it's all fairly punchy and straight to the point. I suppose it wouldn't be too much of an inconvenience for me to harass one of the game's designers. Justin! Duty calls!
     "You've numbered your questions 1 to 5 but each one seems to have many parts. Then there's that cheeky extra question without a number at all. I think this is cheating, but despite you cramming so many questions into such a small space I'll do my best to give you answers.
     "1. There are other piñatas on Dragonache Island. The old Diggerling isn't a vegetarian (if you know what I mean). Very few piñatas are immune to Sour candy, it takes a very special creature to resist those nasty red sweets! I guess that one day we will find out what happened to Mother. She's a tenacious lady and it would take more than a little shipwreck to finish her off.
     "2. Seedos likes to think his head is a coconut. A coconut is the largest seed he can think of and he really would like to be made out of seeds.
     "3. Yes.
     "4. Sour candy is Professor Pester's secret formula. No-one really knows what he put in it. The Sour species are a result of some experimental work by Professor Pester. No doubt any piñata that he worked on could become a Sour but so far he's only found time to work on these eight cases. I suspect that the Tower of Sour is carved from the wood of a tree that provides one of the essential ingredients for Sour candy. Sours can smell its sap and are convinced that the garden already contains a Sour so they don't need to investigate.
     "5. I expect it was another Dragonache, although it must have been some time ago for the egg to be buried so deeply.
     "Bonus Question: we're experimenting with evolution requirements, let's keep our fingers crossed."
Approximately 114 more shades of green than the Spectrum could have handled
Ahoy Cap'n,
     Just wanted to congratulate the team for Jetpac Refuelled on XBLA.
     You could have just put out the original with "enhanced" graphics like most of the Arcade titles, this would have kept most of us old Speccy owners happy, but no. You added on a completely new game, the only thing I don't like about it is it's better than the original. You could have easily put this out as a full priced title and it would still be better than most of the dross out there.
     Thanks once again, and keep up the good work, it is very much appreciated.
     Dan Burgess
Basically blasphemy, but there's a nice sentiment in there somewhere.
     The team says: "Why thank you Dan, great praise indeed but don't say stuff like 'full priced' or the bean counters might just make us do that in future. Then you'll be cursing us for charging too much for stuff we may, or may not (oh I nearly let it slip) be releasing in the future."
     OMG Scribes is teh groundless hint central!!1#
 
Dear Rare Scribe Peoples,
     First, as I'm sure you are aware, you guys are awesome! Some of my all-time favorite games are Rare games, especially Banjo one-ie and Tooie, Viva Piñata, and DKR.
     IMPORTANT QUESTION TIME!
     1) I know the guy who did the music for the original Banjo games is doing the music for Banjo-Threeie. This is cause for celebration, but will Banjo-Threeie have that effect where, like, you go from one area to another and the music fades into a different style of the same theme. If not, WHY NOT! I LOVED THAT AWESOME EFFECT!
     2) This time, is the music gonna be fully orchestra'd or not?
     By the way, I think Banjo's new visual style is just fine, I don't care what some dudes on the internets say, it's actually pretty cool, blocky Banjo.
     With regards?
     Stungun Jones
"Dear Stungun," responds Grant, "I am planning on using some fades like the early games did, not quite sure how it's going to work yet tho', I'll have to see!"
     What about question two, Grant? Grant? Are you still listening, Grant?
     "Still a bit up in the air as to full orchestra (á la Viva Piñata), another 'I'll have to see' answer I'm afraid."
     Come on now, this isn't how it works. When in doubt you're supposed to either just lie through your teeth or twist a delicate fibre of truth into something unrecognisable and idiotic. What's with all this honesty business?
 
Dear Scribes,
     First of all, I am a big fan of Rare and its DKC series. I have a couple of questions for you.
     1) In DKC 3 GBA, why is there no scrapbook with photo collecting and why is there no baddie parade at the end of the game?
     2) In Diddy Kong Racing DS, why is there no option to use a button for the boost at the start of each race? I have seen this in an earlier screenshot of the game and it has obviously been removed. There are many complaints because of this. I didn't like it all at first, but now I am fine with it.
     I encourage Rare to make a remake/port of Donkey Kong 64 for DS. I have never played this game, so this would be a great chance to finally play it. I think it would sell extremely well. Everyone wants Donkey Kong platformer on DS.
     Thank you,
     Marko (Croatia)
Dear Marko, first of all, I am a big fan of numbered lists and wish yours had gone on for longer. I have a couple of answers for you:
     "We didn't add the parade as it drove me mad waiting for it to end. I think it took at least five hours to go through all the characters. We didn't add the scrap book due to time, we felt adding a whole new world was more interesting for the player.
     "I realise the start game changes have been quite controversial, when we started DKR DS the team all agreed we wanted to add some unique DS features to the game, so we did. I think the main problem is players are trying to use the stylus to spin, it was designed to be done with your finger.
     "Conversion of DK64: who knows what will happen?"
     I encourage you to make a remake/port of Anticipation in Croatian. I have never played this game, so this would be a great chance for me to not play it some more.
 
Hello again, Loveday.
     I recently played through DKR DS, and I must say that aside a few issues (icons made with only the touch screen, the touch screen way of boosting), it was a very good game for what's supposed to be Rare's 1st DS game. No idea why the critics lambasted it like they did. Pity. It didn't deserve it, much like a certain romp through a haunted mansion.
     Anyway, I have a question that isn't only puzzling me, but is puzzling "countless" others. In the beginning of DKR DS, the line "Certain characters licensed by Rare" can be read. Most Rare fans know that you own the rights to Tiptup, which is a given. However, who else from DKR DS do you guys own?
     As an incentive to get some answers, take a gander at this non-rubbish Rubbish Picture Attachment. A recent Scribes writer (and personal friend of mine) by the name of "Katzii Yataki" sent me this Pants Amazing card for my birthday. Impressed? Disturbed? Taken aback? If you guys ever get into making Rare merchandise, "Sorry I Cheated On You" Mr. Pants cards should be of utmost priority.
     May the Pants continue to bless Rareware,
     Mark "darkmark8" Mazzei
As far as I'm aware - after asking around - all the major DKR characters who aren't Kongs or Kremlings still belong to Rare. Which would make Diddy, Dixie, Tiny and Krunch the 'licensed' ones in this case. And that means we can still do the M-rated Bumper prequel story! Thank you Jesus!
     Nice card... further possibilities should Mr. Pants expand into the event-based stationery market are 'Thanks For The Novelty Underwear, It Made My Xmas' and 'Commiserations On Being Run Over Before Changing Your Week-Old Pants'.
 
Dear Scribes,
     When I was younger I rented the game Banjo-Kazooie for the N64. I loved the game but decided to play the file that beat the game. If I remember you are left with four Jiggies. And there are a total amount of 900 notes.
     Well I did something I think in Mumbo's Mountain, or maybe some other place, and I unlocked a note door (or if already there) under the Grunty Picture in the entry way. On the note door it says 900 to enter.
     I walked through the door to find myself in a big circular room filled with lava, and a skinny pathway going around. Some point on the pathway there is a picture of Grunty standing behind a lava world with four missing Jiggies in it. Well back then I was little, so I didn't know how to put in Jiggies at all.
     I really wish for a response from you. I like you guys so much I played all your games and bought an Xbox just because of Conker!
     Thank you for reading this letter and taking a couple of minutes/seconds out of your lives.
     Adam
I wish I knew what you were asking. Or maybe I don't. Let's see if someone from the team can dispel the confusion.
     "He's referring to the final Jiggy picture that was an optional extra prior to the final Grunty battle. After the Quiz (the lava with the skinny path) there is a door requiring 900 notes. Beyond this door is a small Jiggy picture requiring four Jiggies. If you fill this picture in you get a super duper double strength energy bar - designed to reward players prior to their showdown with Grunty. There, you'll sleep soundly now."
     There's never any guarantee of that, considering last night I dreamed John Barrowman went on a gun rampage in a supermarket because he'd remade Z Cars only to achieve record low viewing figures. Interpret that one if you can (let me guess: it means I'm gay).
 
Dear Scribes,
     Earlier today, I was casually shopping at a Food Emporium, which is a pretty big supermarket. Anyway, at the checkout counters, there were DVDs and stuff for real cheap. Like, we're talkin' the first Spider-Man movie for 10 dollars! Anyway, I decided to take a look at what's behind one of the DVDs.
     Eh... 50 First Dates. OK movie, but...
     Oh boy, some generic fishing ga-
     OH MY GOD IT'S GRABBED BY THE GHOULIES BRAND NEW FOR ONLY 10 DOLLARS
     Needless to say, I bought it immediately. I never played it before, and having heard good things about it (not limited to Leafos's dialog in Viva Piñata talking about it) inspired me to buy it. Plus, it was a Rare game. I couldn't go wrong! I can't wait to play it. I'm writing this letter having just arrived home five minutes ago!
     Steve Q.
Volleyed back to an understandably excited Banjo/Ghoulies team leader...
     "Someone buying a new copy of GbtG? Now that is good news! Even better that our crafty not-so subtle advertising in VP did the trick. I think we'll try that tactic in all our games from now on - so don't expect to see any actual gameplay in the new Banjo as the bear will just be talking at length about why everyone should buy Viva Piñata.
     "As it has taken me ages to respond to this letter you'll probably have played (and hopefully completed) the game by now. Hope you enjoyed it!"
     Ten dollars is pretty good going. I found Genma Onimusha for four quid the other week. Felt right at home as it's got basically the same controls as Knight Lore.
 
Dear super-ultimate-fantastic-champion,
     Hi, I'd just like to introduce myself; my name is Darren Borg (feel free to make fun of my surname, any references to the movie The Fifth Element are more than welcome), I'm nineteen and live in Australia (feel free to call me a witchetty grub-eating buffoon while you're at it).
     I've been playing your games ever since Donkey Kong Country 2 and Donkey Kong Land on the Super Nintendo and Game Boy. You guys have created the most awesome games ever, and that goes for the music as well! So atmospheric... so adventurous... bravo. But the thing is I actually didn't know you guys created all the games you did until I accidentally stumbled across your site looking for the Rock Solid MP3.
     It's a shame that I only just found out about your site until just last year - I'd love to read all the previous Scribes that never got uploaded when you moved to Microsoft. Couldn't you upload all the previous Scribes in its original format? Just think of it as a nice tribute to the previous site designs you've had. Or maybe put up the old Uncle Tusk pages since I and many others never got to read 'em?
     Also: I remember someone from the Grabbed by the Ghoulies Tepid Seat asked Wilhelm if he/she/it finished Banjo-Tooie (as in it would be quite hard to accomplish). Well, I'd just like to say that I've completely finished Banjo Pilot, Banjo-Kazooie: Grunty's Revenge, Banjo-Kazooie (except the secret eggs and ice-key), Banjo-Tooie, the Donkey Kong Country series, Donkey Kong 64, GoldenEye 007 (haven't got every single cheat, but most of them), Perfect Dark (again, haven't got every cheat, but just pretend I didn't mention that part), Conker's Bad Fur Day and Conker: Live & Reloaded. And it wasn't even that hard or time consuming (well, Banjo-Kazooie, Banjo-Tooie and Donkey Kong 64 took a little while, but that's a good thing! The more gameplay the better!).
     I plan on being like all the other constant flow of mentalists who pour rubbish letters into your inbox. I can so tell you're pulsating with enthusiasm just hearing those words so I'll send another letter soon but I thought I'll just throw this one crazily out to you so I can introduce myself. Bless you Mr. Loveday, Bless you.
     Darren Borg
Ha ha, your surname's Borg. Oh no, we're going to be assimilated! Ha ha ha. Oh no, watch out! Ha ha.
     Can't complain about having some new blood around here. Sometimes I think we only have about a dozen people reading the website these days, and they've all been reading it since 1998 and the only reason they haven't stopped is because they're too scared of what might happen. Consider that a cue for all you other lurkers to send in inspiring and constructive letters on all manner of pertinent latter-day issues, even if it does mean I have to get off my arse and do Scribes again before November.
     Speaking of which, I appreciate that not everyone got to see the older editions of Scribes/Tusk, but I just can't go reformatting them all every time we change the site design (especially as there were 65 editions of Scribes alone at last count). We'd never get anything new done. And we wouldn't fool anyone with the 'tribute to past designs' excuse, they'd just look rubbish. I say again: Wayback Machine.
     Why haven't you finished Sabre Wulf, It's Mr. Pants and JFG? Rescuing the Tribals in JFG is all about 'bonus gameplay'.
 
Oi!!
     (I'm sorry, but this is urgent and I had to drop the niceties.)
     Let's say, hypothetically, I owned a Wii. Let's also say that DKC2 were to eventually come to the Virtual Console, upon which I would spaz out and, in a fit of joyous epilepsy, drop eight Wii Points its way.
     First of all, would the Monkey Museum still include that funkadelic Chief Thunder poster and KI arcade cabinet, or would the old Microsoft-owns-it beast rear its ugly head and require it to be blatantly edited out like many features in Virtual Console games? Incidentally, I would probably buy it anyway.
     Secondly, are you guys getting any money off of the first DKC port? I certainly hope so. It's just that many developers whose games are getting put on the VC have evaporated long ago (cough -- Sunsoft! Blue Sky! -- ahem), and I don't see how, consistently, anybody gets any money except the publisher. If you did not profit from Donkey Kong Country 2 coming to the VC, while many of the original team members were still working for you, that would decrease my desire to buy the game considerably, after I paid them so graciously in the SNES days.
     Thank ye for yer time, arrrr! When/if DKC2 washes up on the Wii, I'll talk like a scurvy pirate for the rest o' me life, arrrr! And ne'er pick up no wenches, arr... OK, I think I'm gonna stop.
     JetDog
Have to say we haven't found MS to be precious about things like the KI cameo. Subsequently, the DKC team leader says: "I doubt whether anything would change in DKC2. Actually you can check for yourself as I believe it has recently been released."
     And on the subject of hard cash: "In the complex money-go-round of royalties and profit, we menial developers are never sure if we are getting paid for such things - in fact I don't think we get paid at all apart from free cans of fizzy pop and as many packets of Love Hearts as you can eat." I hope that fully answers all your questions.
 
Dear all-knowing, all-powerful, all-Rare Scribes,
     First of all, I'm happy to say Grabbed by the Ghoulies arrived safely in my door-less mailbox. I'm also happy to say I had a lot of fun with it. I don't know why people said it was disappointing. To be honest, Diddy Kong Racing DS was a bigger disappointment. It just felt a little... gimmicky. Not bad for a first DS try, though. Did Nintendo push you to remake DKR or was it your decision?
     To segue into a future Banjo related question, after playing DKRDS, I noticed the absence of a very important honey bear. Are you not allowed to put Banjo on a Nintendo console because Microsoft owns you? Or -- dare I say it -- does Microsoft OWN the Banjo-Kazooie franchise? I shiver at the possibility... Imagine, Banjo being forced to code the latest edition of Microsoft Word while being whipped by Steve Ballmer every time he made an error...
     In more Banjo related madness, I'm glad I got an Xbox 360 before even the thought of the bear and bird duo exploding onto my TV screen in brilliant 1080i. Unfortunately, I don't have a Hi-Def TV yet, but I promise, just for you, Rare, I'll get one on the release of Banjo-Kazooie 3 to increase the amount of excitement and nostalgia. Plus, it's the trilogy to my second favorite video game of all time. Sorry, Super Mario Bros. took the #1 spot, but Conker's BFD is my #8 between the original Half-Life and Super Smash Bros. Melee. You should be honored. I mean, "honoured."
     Wow, fourth paragraph! Something important this time: Due to Microsoft's products barely ever working like they're supposed to, my 360 melted the edge of my Special Edition Perfect Dark game disk. If I send it to you with an awesome drawing of Mr. Pants juggling flaming chainsaws on a unicycle, would you give me a replacement?
     Bryan Skinner from the Land of Uncle Sam
     PS Oh, forgot something. I was wondering, me living in America at all, if it was possible to attend a college here while interning for you overseas. Would I have to attend a college there to intern with the best game developer ever?
"Both Rare and Nintendo wanted DKR DS, we both felt it would be a really great game to add to the DS's ever-growing portfolio." That's the official line from the level-headed boys on the Rare DS team. "The reason Banjo (and Conker) were removed from the game is mainly down to complicated legal stuff, far too boring to go into further." Moving on then...
     No, we ain't sending you no replacement game discs, Frank. Not because we're lazy and judgemental, although we are, but because we don't handle any of that manufacturing and distribution business so we don't have any replacement game discs. Talk to Mr. Microsoft, although you may want to hold off on the libel when you do that. And send us the drawing anyway (you could send it to Microsoft, but I suspect they'd see it as a form of psychological bullying rather than bribery).
     PS I asked our HR department, and it seems it is possible "subject to satisfying the criteria for and being granted the correct work visa and passing our own selection process for internships". And not being a terrorist, Communist or mentalist.
 
You fine stallions,
     I have recently become aware of a distinct lack of decent Baron Von Ghoul renders on the internet. Quite disgraceful, really - a villain of such class should be treated with greater recognition and respect. The old Ghoulies tepid seat feature offers one, but it ain't too big. Anything hiding in the Rare archives that you could bless us with? The self portraits from the Baron's Quarters would be, like, even more awesome.
     Still a fan.
     watkinzez
We are fine stallions, aren't we? Thanks for noticing. Have a big old render.
     From the Ghoulies team: "Shameful isn't it? For such a quality boss bad guy with a silly name to be so criminally underrepresented. All I can say is - hold onto your game those that still own it (i.e. probably about 17 of you) as they will become cult classics that you can flog on eBay for big dollars in about 20 years. I've personally got a garage full at home and I'm hoping to retire on the proceeds."
Conker gets a lovely new job making birdtables (out of military grade firearms)
Dear Sebircs (seemed like a palindrome),
     This idea will save your company. What's that? You don't need to be saved? Let me start over.
     This idea would make me happy. Episodic Conker. I am unable to play other platformer games because they don't measure up and frankly the Conker jokes do get old when you hear them for the 20,000th time. I enjoyed Kameo but let's face it, Conker > Kameo. And don't try to tell me Kameo is supposed to be an RPG. Adding fruit upgrades does not a RPG make.
     The paragraph above gives me away as American. Any suggestions to help me seem more British? You guys and your accents and strange slang always seem so smart.
     To summarize, when making a platformer remember the following; more fart jokes, more squirrel, and less elf girl with wings.
     I good you bid evening.
     
Me
Well, it's a new suggestion, at least - which is more than can be said for this week's 14th email about KI3 or GoldenEye on Live Arcade. The rumblings I heard from the erstwhile Conker team on this subject didn't exactly make it sound like the safest bet since Paris Hilton crying herself out of jail early, but hey, I suppose it was worth asking.
     By the way, the wings are more important than you think. That's another one of those cheeky Scribes responses that may be total arsejuice or may actually make some sense a few years down the line.
 
Dear UncommonMerchandise,
     I've been a real long time fan. But I have a few questions:
     1.) We all know that the two extra Jiggies were for the inexperienced players who couldn't get all of them, but, I can't recall if you've answered this, why are there so many extra Mumbo tokens? There's over 30 of them! What's up with that?
     2.) I really really wanted those darned B-T shorts. Would you perhaps have an extra that you would be willing to sell* to me? I would really appreciate that.
     *By sell I mean give
     3.) We're ALL excited about B-3. But, I want more screenshots/sketches/drawings someone's two-year-old did. Actually, you guys don't take to kindly to requests. So I'm going to try some subliminal advertising. Go Into Very Evil Underground Ships, Pleading In Cowardly Sadness. Yes. There we go. (Mwahaha.)
     Mine Falsely,
     A Horse With No Name
You people and your decade-old game questions! Tusk would have had a field day.
     "1. Can't remember to be honest. I think we just wanted the Mumbo transformations to be easy to get.
     "2. I actually have a spare pair on my desk right now. I was supposed to try and get a fellow employee to wear them in a recent footy match against Lionhead but forgot. Send us your address and you can have them, although any odd stains you find in them are your responsibility." Oh no, not spontaneous giveaways - that'll get the other competition L00SARZ foaming at the mouth.
     "3. So are you saying you want some footage that looks like a two-year-old did it? You'll have to wait a bit longer until we unleash more information on Banjo in his latest (and greatest, I modestly predict) adventure. In fact, once we start you'll probably be sick of it in no time."
 
Dear Scribes,
     Congrats on the many nominations for Viva Piñata, the award for Leafos' voice work, and creating Jetpac Refuelled to be excellent. Actually, when I recommended it to a friend, I called it a sophisticated Geometry Wars with heart. That's pretty close to it, don't ya think? And without further ado:
     Cat Litter) As for the Killer Plant Ghoulies whose soil pots shattered on the cutting room floor of GbtG - why were they pruned from the final game?
     Berry Skittles) Eyedol's ending in Killer Instinct doesn't make any sense. Car crash? Billy? Bracelets? Did someone from the team create the monster's ending after consuming some illegal fungus? Is it something to do with the epic struggle between Eyedol and Gargos? Care to explain that one?
     Those Oreos with the extra icing inside) DKRDS is tied as the most accomplished remake/special edition Rare's done to date, along with Conker: L&R. Bravo! However, there is one problem that irks me and it's as bad as censoring the Poo Song. Spinning the tires while trying to watch the top screen for the "GO!", then tossing my stylus like a mini-javelin so I can steer the damn car doesn't work for most people with the limitation of owning two arms. Octoman has no problems with the game though! Why wasn't there an option for the classic manual boost?
     Green Apples) Yay! Jetpac Refuelled is out! Here's a quickie: How many folks from the team will have the "Infection" Achievement to begin with?
     Gee, looks like I accidentally spliced my Scribes letter and my shopping list. Ah, well - I'm sure there are letters with crappier formatting. I'm off to some assemble some rockets while keeping an eye out for the Rare Coin so I can unlock DK64. Oh, nearly forgot, not knowing the title for the new Banjo game's driving me batty. Thanks a lot. Until I dig up more random stuff,
     Zenek
I've restored the missing 'L' to Jetpac Refuelled for you. Somehow you managed to make the exact same typo twice. Let's not mention it again.
     Goldfish Food) "I think it was mainly due to the fact that they were immobile. In a game which required the baddies to chase you all over the house, the static plants that patiently waited for you to be stupid enough to venture close enough for them to attack seemed a bit limited. Also many of the areas that they were due to feature in were also cut (the graveyard that formed part of the church / graveyard / catacombs area that was accessed from the garden and came out in the cellar if I remember rightly)."
     Fruit Polos) It makes a lot more sense if you've seen Blanka's ending in Street Fighter II. But you're entirely at liberty to think of it as some meandering drug-addled paranoid rant.
     McVitie's Boasters) Been there, tackled that - see Marko's letter elsewhere on the page.
     Crunchy Nut Corn Flakes) "I'd say you about got it with your statement, but Geometry Wars is no less sophisticated - gotta love that game, so hard but so good! As far as Infection is concerned, three of the dev team, erm... 'Infected themselves' before passing it onto anyone who wanted to play with them. This started a little rash of XBLA players getting the achievement, see if you can find someone to give it to you."
     My shopping list is clearly superior to yours. I wanted to put 'Millipede Food' rather than 'Goldfish Food' to give a shout out to my giant millipede - the pet of champions - but you can't actually buy packaged millipede food so it would have been DECEPTION.
 
Hello Scribes,
     I must thank you for your reply concerning Donkey Kong's enemies, the Kremlings, in the last Scribes. But what's truly amazing is that developer PAON has revealed two Kremling children as playable characters in their upcoming game, DK Jet. A simple coincidence, of course, but I was bowled over nonetheless. It appears the people at PAON are showing a lot of love and respect for what you've done with Donkey Kong over the years.
     I've one question. Do you keep model sheets of the characters you create? It would be fantastic to have reference sheets of Diddy and Dixie Kong, but King K. Rool is one I'd particularly love to see; it's quite difficult for me to draw him correctly. I understand you may have built his 3D model from scratch instead of making a reference chart first, but it would be nice to know. Hopefully there are no legal complications involved, but if there are, I apologise.
     Matt Jones
The 'Rare comments on games by other companies' scandal continues! DKC designer says: "I am personally looking forward to playing DK Jet, although it will undoubtedly feel a little odd to be playing someone else's game featuring characters that were created at Rare. Hope it's good!" Okay, not that scandalous.
     As for your other question, I think I have a fair idea of what the answer's going to be, but let's check...
     "Model sheets? Ha ha ha ha, that's a good one. Back in those days I think the accepted technique was to do a little sketch on any piece of paper lying around and then if it looked OK, start modelling it. These days we have all sorts of fancy things like concept artists - although I suppose they do come in useful sometimes, e.g. the whole Viva Piñata look."
 
Alright Scribes?
     I had me a little bit of a thought today (it hurt). You know you remade Conker's BFD for Xbox? You know it was originally titled Conker: Live and Uncut, and was supposed to be a remake, with stuff you cut out of the original N64 version reinstated? And you know that, for whatever reason, a short while before release you changed the title to Conker: Live & Reloaded, and it featured no extra bits (in the single player story mode), and was actually more censored than on the N64? And you know that annoyed the fans and that, and it sold appallingly (apparently)? Well...
     Why not do a sort of re-release, but of the originally intended 'Uncut' version? Now, the reason would be poor sales, etc (and apparently some stuck-up American shop called Wal-Mart refused to stock it? W*nkers). Well, here's the idea; Sell it as a download over Xbox Live Arcade! No manufacturing pish, so lower costs, and you won't have to worry about store policies getting in the way of delivering the full uncut version, 'cause you'd be selling it straight to us punters who want it. No greasy, filthy middle-men. AND it'd easily be the best thing on XBL Arcade, by miles. You could even scrap the online bit, and just re-release (the uncut version of!) the single player.
     'Cause, while it was heart-breaking to see that it was actually more family-friendly than the original N64 version, it was fecking beautiful all the same. However, because of the cuts, the N64 original is still the definitive version, I'm afraid. Would be brilliant to play what was originally intended for Xbox. So what do you reckon? Worthy idea? I thought it was.
     Thanks for everything, Rare ^_^
     Martin Scott
Nice use of the word 'pish'. I don't think we even have to censor that one.
     It probably is a worthy idea in theory - the cuts weren't part of the original plan, or we'd never have called the ruddy thing Live & Uncut to begin with - but the logic of re-releasing the game on a system which already has a (backwards) compatible version just for the sake of introducing a few minor changes (which would probably fall foul of approval processes all over again) is a bit fuzzy. You personally might give it the thumbs-up, but there are plenty who wouldn't. They'd demand we stopped wasting our time and remade Battletoads and Killer Instinct in HD then sent them beta GoldenEye cartridges and put Banjo back in DKR. Probably. Live & Reloaded didn't sell 'appallingly' either, you feisty little troublemaker.